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Why do we self-hate?  Why do we not accept the love of others?  It all speaks to self-esteem, and starting by learning how to love ourselves.

Is My Husband Having an Affair?

Excellent questions posed by Lori Gottlieb via the "problem situation" posed.

Whenever somebody in my office brings up sexual infidelity (confirmed or suspected), my first instinct is to wonder what other infidelities might be going on. I don’t mean other affairs — I mean the more subtle ways of straying from our partners that have at least as much potential to threaten a marriage. The affair, of course, gets the most attention, but it’s the affair that is also often misunderstood. And it’s because of this misunderstanding that the cheating takes center stage — and that the other factors, the betrayals that need the most attention, stay out of the spotlight. That’s why, HHIS, I’m not primarily interested in whether your husband is cheating.

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The Top 5 Mistakes Divorced Parents Make

Some excellent points here about kids when newly divorced.   When thinking about the emotional well being of your children, this mantra may be helpful:  Say to yourself, "I am not divorced FROM my ex.  I am divorced TO my ex."  It'll be tough at first.  The high road usually is.

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Anxiety and Depression Medication List

A good overview of the medications prescribed for Anxiety and Depression and their side-effects.

"The Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) states that an estimated 40 million adults suffer from one of the eight disorders within the anxiety spectrum.  In addition, depression impacts approximately 16 million, about 6.7% of the U.S. adult population."

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The Likely Cause of Addiction Has Been Discovered, and It Is Not What You Thin

I post this as many people feel that addictions--substance abuse in particular--are physically induced.  Yes, and no.  But mostly, no.

"Professor Alexander argues this discovery is a profound challenge both to the right-wing view that addiction is a moral failing caused by too much hedonistic partying, and the liberal view that addiction is a disease taking place in a chemically hijacked brain. In fact, he argues, addiction is an adaptation. It’s not you. It’s your cage."
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Turning Negative Thinkers Into Positive Ones

Some helpful tools/reminders toward the end of this piece, which you can put into practice.

“The results suggest that taking time to learn the skills to self-generate positive emotions can help us become healthier, more social, more resilient versions of ourselves,” Dr. Fredrickson reported in the National Institutes of Health monthly newsletter in 2015.

In other words, Dr. Davidson said, “well-being can be considered a life skill. If you practice, you can actually get better at it.” 

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Breathwork as a Treatment for Addiction?

What I take from this interview is that focusing on your breath, is helpful for so much of what ails us, including, but not limited to, addictions.  

"I got wind of an ex-addict doing breathwork with people at various rehabs with supposedly rave results. His name is Nathaniel V. Dust and he is not your typical hippie weirdo. Far from it. When I showed up at his house to sit down with him, he was wearing a pink tie, pink socks with the words “sock whore” and cats on them and a plaid suit jacket with a pink handkerchief peeking out of the pocket. Oh, and he has a mohawk."

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The Brain Mechanics of Rumination and Repetitive Thinking

The latest neuroscientific research on rumination and repetitive thinking helps us understand the brain mechanics of dwelling on negative thoughts.

"Do you ever find yourself stuck in a rut of repetitive thinking or an infinite loop of obsessive rumination in which you replay the same thought again, and again, and again? On the flip side, do you find that spurts of repetitive thinking are an important part of your creative process and that being "obsessed" with solving a riddle is essential to having "Eureka!" moments? I would answer "yes" to both questions."
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My Distraction Sickness — and Yours

I was sitting in a large meditation hall in a converted novitiate in central Massachusetts when I reached into my pocket for my iPhone. A woman in the front of the room gamely held a basket in front of her, beaming beneficently, like a priest with a collection plate. I duly surrendered my little device, only to feel a sudden pang of panic on my way back to my seat. If it hadn’t been for everyone staring at me, I might have turned around immediately and asked for it back. But I didn’t. I knew why I’d come here.

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For Teenagers, the Pleasure of ‘Likes’

While internet "likes" can be positive social cues, the yearning for "likes" can often become obsessive, and heighten teen anxiety.  Check in with your kids.  Dialogue with them about "likes" and what these "likes" are about for them.  It's an excellent opportunity to "hear" your teens, and for you to be supportive, and heard in return.

 

"A “like,” for the uninitiated, refers to the positive feedback given to a post on social media. And new research shows that likes appear to be somewhat intoxicating to teenagers. The same reward center in the brain that is involved in the sensation of pleasure and activated by thoughts of sex, money or ice cream also is turned on when teenagers see their photos getting a lot of likes on social media."

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The Weight

Mardy Fish was a top 10 professional tennis player.  That is saying something.  His career would be judged exceptional, accomplished, and successful by any reasonable standard.  What he didn't have, or lost, during his "drive" to be his best, was perspective.  This is a courageous "sharing" by Mardy about his being overwhelmed by anxiety at seemingly the least probable time.   Mardy's is a classic case of putting blinders on and focusing intently on a goal (to be the best tennis player  he could possibly be).  In his moments of accruing success, higher standards (and deeper demons) manifested.  Finding, or maintaining perspective was not a priority.  Kudo's to Mr. Fish for having shared his experience.

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